It's New

My days are going on pretty well these days except the heat of summer. I am learning to swim and my four day presence hasn’t gone to waste. I am becoming comfortable with water gradually. It feels fine now to exhale inside water and when it’s dark outside, water doesn’t scare me that much. I am confident enough to freely move around the pool with a little support these days. On the flip side, I am playing Dragon Age: origins, which is unarguably the best RPG of 2009. It has been a long time that I felt like completing one I started. You have to play it to see how detailed and near to perfect the work is and what a great work the guys have come up with. Though sometimes I feel bad that I don’t have enough time to play it daily and my work timings are the one to blame. And lastly, I have cleared all my interview rounds with one of the largest banking concerns in the world and I am eagerly waiting for the offer letter to come. I am meeting my love everyday and she is here to stay for another month. Now I can hold her hands and see her smile whenever I want to. One of my best buddies is back to the city and here to stay. Now I can have my nomadic mad night life again on the streets. But apart from all these, I have many a bad things going on too. But since I am just back from swimming and one can always choose, I prefer not going into those lanes as of now. Happiness is so short lived. Let me try to live it as much as I can for those tensions and depressions are never far from me......

Fear of Fear

I daily get up at seven in the morning. Believe me when I say that it is a record. My work timings have changed drastically from what was zero to a one. I am at my desk by eight thirty and my day ends by six. There are no more night outs at office and there is no afternoon travel to work. Though I am yet to adapt to this new way and it is almost a month down, I am finding it good. It leaves me with good enough time to relax and do my stuff. The heat is the only thing which is taking the better off me. But it is not that I haven’t tried something new amidst all of this. I tried to swim. I always had the fear of water. A shower is good enough to make me feel drowned. So you can well guess what would have happened when I entered the pool. It is of normal depth i.e. 5 Feet and five inches deep, and comes up to my chin, but is surely masterly in overpowering my will. One thing I realized is that walking in the pool is really a nice affair. It feels very nice. And on the second day when I was feeling one of such feelings the instructor forced me to jump into the water thrice and I gulped in three glasses of water. I was panting and the sudden change of my role didn’t allow me to even think of what I had just taken inside. I had been there to learn swimming thrice in the last two weeks and it still stays the same. I am unable to face my fears and I am feeling so bad about it. I want to make the count four and more but every day, as the clock hits six, I somehow manage to get a reason to escape my fear. It might be that the only way to surpass and face it all is to accept the way I am and then go and take a plunge. And that is what I am doing here. Yes, I am scared of water. Yes, jumping into the pool is even scarier. And yes, tomorrow I shall go and learn to stay scared. Wish me luck!