My trip to Toronto is turning out to be a Cast Away to Toronto. This city is great and people are nice, but I am on my own, stuck up this cold. I realized that like walking in this cold. Its freezing outside but that’s what makes walking fun for me here. Wearing all those heavy woolens and heading out, watching the hot air you exhale and the numbness in your nose, cheeks and ears are some experience. Here everyone walks faster than me. I find it hard to cross someone. Only, the old ones are the easy ones. And often I see couples, walking hand in hand on the streets. I feel like stopping them and suggesting them to go inside and order whatever they need. You are together and you go out in such cold. Born here, walking in this freezing cold could never be fun as against the case with me. Why not sit at home, relax and order stuffs you need. Nez, that can’t be generalized I guess. But really, doing the talk as you walk, here, is tough. I appreciate the ones who do the talk here while walking.
My stomach is frustrated with MacDonald burgers and French fries. Either they are the lunch or the dinner. From food, to the time I spent at my room to the amount of talking I do these days, everything has become a test. I feel like being under some regime and under constant monitoring on my way to some extraordinary certification that would earn me accolades. Oh I forgot. Pay Numbers are out in India. I got information as to how much my salary has been hiked and the bonus I would be getting. And I am being asked about my opinion on those figures. They aren’t bad as compared to others in the market. They certainly do match the investment bank tag but my necessities are huge. I am still in a fix as to what I should be saying. Well, I guess I will just show my dissatisfaction and hint towards a better figure but as I feel, spelling out the exact is always tough. Life hasn’t given me many options. Eventually I have to start looking out again which I don’t want to do unless I get myself some amazing abroad opportunities in countries of my choice. So, let it start. I will tell my expectations. Rest, is destiny.
My leave is approved, regarding the travel to my birth city, late in March. I hope something else doesn’t go wrong. I am dying to be there. Post job, its pending. I don’t feel much for being an Indian or a by caste, but I can die for the place I was born at. That’s me. And I feel good that there is something about my existence I love so much.
That’s all I have for today. It’s time for my black coffee. And a big Happy Chinese New year to the ones who have it. :)
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
It just happens...oopss..
Whenever I head towards something with focus, things happen. It’s a rule which applies only to me. Over time, I have adapted myself to it and now all I do about them is to face them and smile.
On Saturday I am going to appear for a technical test for an opportunity at another Investment Bank and I have high hopes that they can pay me more. A high pay, onto the scale which I am looking out for, would solve many a problems for me. It’s another topic all together how I realized that it’s almost a year since I started looking for a change. It surely has been a year, endless nights of preparation and two companies which got added onto my profile and I am still there in the market, dreaming and trying everyday for a better paying job. Anyways, onto the story at hand, I decide to take a day off from work and prepare at home. My manager calls me up and asks to come over to work in the evening as my business head from U.S. is in the city and an all hands meet has been planned across teams which report to him. Bored with myself, I head for office, sit and hear him happily wondering about the things that are left to be read and I get a recognition award as he announces my name and in the next 20 minutes, I am told by my manager that I would be rated as an exceeding expectations candidate in the appraisal which is one month down the lane and that she has already decided the ratings. I head back home with so many good feelings. And that’s the problem I was referring to.
When you are a hopeless void (i.e. an empty black hole sucking in everything around which is not just good but all the bad too) and you try day in and day out to make things different, something which can put you off your tracks or makes you feel better is actually deceptive in nature. Staying focused and doing what you were becomes so much more difficult. That’s bad. That’s fate not playing fair with you.
On Saturday I am going to appear for a technical test for an opportunity at another Investment Bank and I have high hopes that they can pay me more. A high pay, onto the scale which I am looking out for, would solve many a problems for me. It’s another topic all together how I realized that it’s almost a year since I started looking for a change. It surely has been a year, endless nights of preparation and two companies which got added onto my profile and I am still there in the market, dreaming and trying everyday for a better paying job. Anyways, onto the story at hand, I decide to take a day off from work and prepare at home. My manager calls me up and asks to come over to work in the evening as my business head from U.S. is in the city and an all hands meet has been planned across teams which report to him. Bored with myself, I head for office, sit and hear him happily wondering about the things that are left to be read and I get a recognition award as he announces my name and in the next 20 minutes, I am told by my manager that I would be rated as an exceeding expectations candidate in the appraisal which is one month down the lane and that she has already decided the ratings. I head back home with so many good feelings. And that’s the problem I was referring to.
When you are a hopeless void (i.e. an empty black hole sucking in everything around which is not just good but all the bad too) and you try day in and day out to make things different, something which can put you off your tracks or makes you feel better is actually deceptive in nature. Staying focused and doing what you were becomes so much more difficult. That’s bad. That’s fate not playing fair with you.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Lets Sleep
They are so heavy. They are coming down. It is such a pain to keep them apart. It’s kind of funny, the way world looks right now. Everything seems trifle and futile. A shadowy era in front of me makes me realize that I don’t want or need anything. All my hunger to grow or to evolve or to survive can sleep for the time being. I am in no hurry. Something inside whispers to me and asks to let things go. Never did it seem so easy before. There is pain and yet, it has the pleasure. My mind is going slow. I can see myself through the lanes stacked with to-do of the day. They can all wait. They have to. I had seen all this coming. I was intentional in letting it happen to me. It’s peaceful and human that I am, sloth isn’t uncommon to me. I am sleepy. I am about to sleep. And to let you know something, quite proudly though, I am at office. It is time for my afternoon nap needs to be getting fulfilled duly. Lets sleep…
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Its pissing..
At work, I am trying hard not to do anything. Some people get it but never me. Peace at work and a smooth project with an understanding client have always eluded me since four years. For giving all of you an understanding of the position am in, I have put down my papers and thought of it as the right time to prepare myself for the GMAT as I have two months notice period with me. As if by miracle, the day I booked my dates for the GMAT, work started becoming hectic. The slope is ever increasing and I am ending up being at office for more than twelve hours. All my preparations have gone for a toss. I am always bad at saying “NO” and it’s the need of the hour. Nez, as my friend and love pointed out correctly, bigger things are at stake this time. This post is one of those efforts to stay away from work and not to get involved in the activities going on around. Internet is the only thing that sparks a fire when I am at office with such intentions. Sadly, I am in no mood to read anything today. I give a damn even if Germany looses today to Ghana or another minister gets killed. I am dead. To wait for the day to end so that you can come back and read and to repeat the whole of it every day is a real pain in the A**. Right now, that’s what I am going through…..
Monday, March 1, 2010
It is time to start again...
Today is my last day of corporate freedom. Tomorrow, the third of March (almost all of the important ones fall on a 3 or it’s multiple…I can’t help noticing the pattern) will see me employed to a new employer and the managers and the team leads and a new set of people and colleagues will enter my life. I have no idea what lies ahead. With the same zeal and an inner thought that says that this time I will make it a better one and hold on to for some good number of years, I would go and face it. Though, with experience now, it isn’t tough to recognize the type these corporate high sitters belong to and who really hold my way ahead.
Some are the tea-break types. You should be lucky to be addicted to smoking or coffee or tea and you need to accompany them until they speak out the things which matter in the real world. If you are able to hang around for some time, you would gain insights into the way the project is headed, the things going on under the management garb, the real concerns making it tough for things to flow or the real opportunities hidden underneath.
Some are the athletic types. You should have the talent to know how to play it and a few games down, if you are able to prove your steel, in a few days you can see them confiding in you the real patterns applicable to your project or the real gems that can get you what you need or the way things can be moved in your favor.
Some are the workaholic types. They think of food when they need it and for the rest, all is about work. While I prefer these, it certainly needs a good deal of pain taking capability and some real sacrifices on your part to make things work. But once they do, these are the only ones which give the real pleasure.
And then there are the loner types. They need you when they are alone. It might be the late hours in the night or the afternoons on the weekend. Go and sit and discuss and share and soon, you can see the bonding. But more than often, these types insist that you bother about your ways and stick to your time frames and mind your own, but that is when they say they need you to hang around.
Of all that I have seen and observed, the managers and the leads, the so called tough people belong to either of these types. And if you can break the code, the project, the glory, the fame and the ladder up is all yours. Believe it or not, a poor performer is one who does nothing but work. The best performer is one who does work wherever and whenever it is needed. It isn’t only about working on the system and gaining knowledge and expertise but it is also about the people you work with and mainly the people you report to. This is what I had missed at my first organization and the results weren’t good, they were devastating. And this is what I did when I reached my second one and believe me, I struck gold for more than a year and half until revenues dropped for my business unit and I was moved onto a different high revenue earning project onto a challenging task which sadly didn’t suit my taste. And I hope, this is what I won’t miss tomorrow at my new one.
I wait for the day when I would belong to the genre “managers”, to add a new type to my list….
Some are the tea-break types. You should be lucky to be addicted to smoking or coffee or tea and you need to accompany them until they speak out the things which matter in the real world. If you are able to hang around for some time, you would gain insights into the way the project is headed, the things going on under the management garb, the real concerns making it tough for things to flow or the real opportunities hidden underneath.
Some are the athletic types. You should have the talent to know how to play it and a few games down, if you are able to prove your steel, in a few days you can see them confiding in you the real patterns applicable to your project or the real gems that can get you what you need or the way things can be moved in your favor.
Some are the workaholic types. They think of food when they need it and for the rest, all is about work. While I prefer these, it certainly needs a good deal of pain taking capability and some real sacrifices on your part to make things work. But once they do, these are the only ones which give the real pleasure.
And then there are the loner types. They need you when they are alone. It might be the late hours in the night or the afternoons on the weekend. Go and sit and discuss and share and soon, you can see the bonding. But more than often, these types insist that you bother about your ways and stick to your time frames and mind your own, but that is when they say they need you to hang around.
Of all that I have seen and observed, the managers and the leads, the so called tough people belong to either of these types. And if you can break the code, the project, the glory, the fame and the ladder up is all yours. Believe it or not, a poor performer is one who does nothing but work. The best performer is one who does work wherever and whenever it is needed. It isn’t only about working on the system and gaining knowledge and expertise but it is also about the people you work with and mainly the people you report to. This is what I had missed at my first organization and the results weren’t good, they were devastating. And this is what I did when I reached my second one and believe me, I struck gold for more than a year and half until revenues dropped for my business unit and I was moved onto a different high revenue earning project onto a challenging task which sadly didn’t suit my taste. And I hope, this is what I won’t miss tomorrow at my new one.
I wait for the day when I would belong to the genre “managers”, to add a new type to my list….
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The last few steps..
First of all, thanks to all of you who commented on my Valentine’s post. I was shocked to see that everyone agreed on what I said about love and it kind of made me feel good… :) If you ask why I was shocked, I find it rare that people agree with me.
This Friday is my last working day at my organization. When I am sitting there doing nothing or as I prefer saying being at work with no work, people around me busy as usual with their work and assignments, talking and discussing managers and policies over coffee and smoke, attending meetings and getting aware of the updates, it makes me feel unique and different. It is as if I was the same and suddenly something has changed about me making everyone behave differently. Everyone in my team, the very same people who behaved sick now seem to be carrying a smile ready for me and they seem to be much more sensitive and receptive to my words and actions. Sometimes, when they discuss issues and concerns of the client, I mistake myself to be invisible to them. A look at my screen displaying online news updates or an open acrobat file draws jokes and curiosity from them contrary to what earlier had been a mocking smile or an irritating comment. Additionally, two years is a good amount of time. Wherever we stay and we move on from there with time, we miss it. That is human nature I guess. We are born to adapt and move and carry the memoirs in our pockets. It makes us heavy as we go but also makes us feel living worthwhile.
I would be having 11 days with me before I join my new employer and I can spend it the way I want to. I am presently enduring financial crunch so going home isn’t an option. Getting some certifications done for which I am almost prepared would be a choice but I have certain interesting interviews lined up with organizations I would love to be a part of and they might come up in this phase. One thing I would certainly go for is cooking. I have this feeling inside me which says I should learn how to cook and get started on with things more serious than coffee or maggi or an omelette. It would be a nice time killer and would be good for me at times decreasing my dependency on my roommates. Sadly, it would make them happier too.:P And for a higher score, I always have blogs and movies. Swimming was also on the list but they said that the batch is full as of now. Being a Garfield fan, I don’t have much expectations from myself on these activity frontiers but having such plans is always fun and keeps one motivated to look forward to. Worst case: my list of uncompleted ventures grows. :D
This Friday is my last working day at my organization. When I am sitting there doing nothing or as I prefer saying being at work with no work, people around me busy as usual with their work and assignments, talking and discussing managers and policies over coffee and smoke, attending meetings and getting aware of the updates, it makes me feel unique and different. It is as if I was the same and suddenly something has changed about me making everyone behave differently. Everyone in my team, the very same people who behaved sick now seem to be carrying a smile ready for me and they seem to be much more sensitive and receptive to my words and actions. Sometimes, when they discuss issues and concerns of the client, I mistake myself to be invisible to them. A look at my screen displaying online news updates or an open acrobat file draws jokes and curiosity from them contrary to what earlier had been a mocking smile or an irritating comment. Additionally, two years is a good amount of time. Wherever we stay and we move on from there with time, we miss it. That is human nature I guess. We are born to adapt and move and carry the memoirs in our pockets. It makes us heavy as we go but also makes us feel living worthwhile.
I would be having 11 days with me before I join my new employer and I can spend it the way I want to. I am presently enduring financial crunch so going home isn’t an option. Getting some certifications done for which I am almost prepared would be a choice but I have certain interesting interviews lined up with organizations I would love to be a part of and they might come up in this phase. One thing I would certainly go for is cooking. I have this feeling inside me which says I should learn how to cook and get started on with things more serious than coffee or maggi or an omelette. It would be a nice time killer and would be good for me at times decreasing my dependency on my roommates. Sadly, it would make them happier too.:P And for a higher score, I always have blogs and movies. Swimming was also on the list but they said that the batch is full as of now. Being a Garfield fan, I don’t have much expectations from myself on these activity frontiers but having such plans is always fun and keeps one motivated to look forward to. Worst case: my list of uncompleted ventures grows. :D
Monday, February 8, 2010
My Monday....LOL
Dear bloggers, as was brought to my notice by my love, this isn’t my 100th post. I am really sorry for having said it was in my last post. I always considered the count which the blogger dashboard shows. But it isn’t in sync with the number which I see on the right navigation of my previous posts which marks it as my 94th one. I think if I edit my post and republish it; the dashboard increases the count by one. Nez…partly my fault….spare me……I am humane.
Today I was busy filling up my exit form. My organization needs to get things done ten days before my last working day. So it is time for me to go to every door and ask for a clearance signature. I am done with only two sections and tomorrow I need to complete it. So I would be using a lot of stairs tomorrow and that sucks to me. I hate stairs. It is against a Garfield-ish morale to do so. But I can’t help people who having spent almost twenty five years of their lives in this world fail to understand and comprehend the lift symbols and its movements. More than often, you can see people pressing the up-button when they want to go downstairs…..And then when the door opens, you can see that enlightened blank face with curios eyes prompting you the text “Going Down?”……..I would love to be rude but then, I have the other category of people around me, who have compassion and are kind at soul and answer with an equally logical tone “No, it’s moving up”….WOW….how helpful and informative people are. Believe me, I don’t know about you, but for me, this has been a real pain. It happens for 80% of the times I take the lifts.
As I say, that was me at work with no work. On the other side, I called the HR and he didn’t pick up. Tomorrow I shall be trying a combination of calls and messages. No offence meant….I shouldn’t expect much from a human resource. They aren’t humane…they are just a resource.
Do you believe that was what sums up today for me? It does. Life is suddenly a frozen river, waiting to melt and flow into the new lanes unaware of where it would have to go………
Today I was busy filling up my exit form. My organization needs to get things done ten days before my last working day. So it is time for me to go to every door and ask for a clearance signature. I am done with only two sections and tomorrow I need to complete it. So I would be using a lot of stairs tomorrow and that sucks to me. I hate stairs. It is against a Garfield-ish morale to do so. But I can’t help people who having spent almost twenty five years of their lives in this world fail to understand and comprehend the lift symbols and its movements. More than often, you can see people pressing the up-button when they want to go downstairs…..And then when the door opens, you can see that enlightened blank face with curios eyes prompting you the text “Going Down?”……..I would love to be rude but then, I have the other category of people around me, who have compassion and are kind at soul and answer with an equally logical tone “No, it’s moving up”….WOW….how helpful and informative people are. Believe me, I don’t know about you, but for me, this has been a real pain. It happens for 80% of the times I take the lifts.
As I say, that was me at work with no work. On the other side, I called the HR and he didn’t pick up. Tomorrow I shall be trying a combination of calls and messages. No offence meant….I shouldn’t expect much from a human resource. They aren’t humane…they are just a resource.
Do you believe that was what sums up today for me? It does. Life is suddenly a frozen river, waiting to melt and flow into the new lanes unaware of where it would have to go………
Friday, February 5, 2010
Still a bit Lost...
While I was waiting for the HR to call me so that I can have a second round of discussion regarding the offer he has, I got a soft copy o the offer letter in my mail box. What did he communicate back or where was he when I asked him to call me up the next morning? Is he really dumb or is that he made a statement saying that’s what the final offer would be from his end when he sent the mail? After having talked to my friends and considering the thoughts you all had put in as comments, I decided to go for a brand on condition that the HR doesn’t agree for more bucks. After the mail, it looks like I have to call him up and make myself clearer on my expectations. So, I am not yet done. Hope isn’t there that it would work out but I don’t want to repent later considering that I could have always called. That’s how it remains….will update you all on how it goes……
Yesterday, I was frustrated weighing my career options and trying to have a sneak into future….so I decided to watch a movie. “Up in the Air” is fantastic. No doubt, it has six nominations at the OSCARS. Clooney, as always playing the professional believing in his own theories of living out of a bag pack….and loosing more than he thought was fantastic. Do watch it if you haven’t…..you won’t be disappointed. A few interesting arguments have been presented. The living out of a bag style was interesting but nothing really can win unless it has love with it.
Presently, I am at work with no work but eager eyes around. So I better close this post here……..will update you regarding how things progress.
Yesterday, I was frustrated weighing my career options and trying to have a sneak into future….so I decided to watch a movie. “Up in the Air” is fantastic. No doubt, it has six nominations at the OSCARS. Clooney, as always playing the professional believing in his own theories of living out of a bag pack….and loosing more than he thought was fantastic. Do watch it if you haven’t…..you won’t be disappointed. A few interesting arguments have been presented. The living out of a bag style was interesting but nothing really can win unless it has love with it.
Presently, I am at work with no work but eager eyes around. So I better close this post here……..will update you regarding how things progress.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Any Suggestions...?
I am dead bored and I am at work. The zeal to work isn’t there after I have resigned which I feel is normal. It is one month and I have one month more to go. The recreation room at my office is blocked due to local tensions going on regarding the formation of the new state and BPO guys are having their sleep there. I don’t have many friends here at work and the rest are busy with their plate. I read for two hours. And I am all done. I am tiered of refreshing the News pages and looking out for posts. Even the blogs I follow doesn’t have any new content. Seems everyone is busy...........any suggestions..............?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)