A mistake

My recent life at work is shared by one of my colleagues who happen to had faced a similar situation: moved from the technology of his love onto this 4th gen language for RIA’s (rich internet applications) on the excuse that he too is a quick learner and a fungible resource. And so it happens every day that we play together on the frustration as is always true that misery needs company. But his worries apart from career have a different inclination. He is concerned about his age nearing thirty and marriage. Though I am two years younger, still it makes me wonder if that would be the case when I reach there. He was upset today as his online profile on a matrimony site (through which, to my surprise, he has applied for viewing more than a hundred profiles yesterday) has been disabled as his landline number couldn’t be verified by the site owners, a step which he took to make his profile completeness a complete 100 from 98. And you can also see him wonder during his evening breaks at tea and snacks as to who he should call and communicate his feelings and find his likings and a match for a partner so that he can update his parents about the same. He surprises me. And I have known many a people of the same league who are dying to marry. I can never understand the concept why people feel like marrying or how can a marriage be a solution to souls who are single. Is it a hormonal surge or just a longing to belong? And it seems I can never find an answer. Logic which I faced from many such beings are that an early marriage can settle down things and you get more time to focus and plan your life but is that what I need to have focus and a plan? I am committed to a lady for the last six years and more and marriage is something which is last on our list. There are so many things to be done. Of course, I am screwed in this three years of long distance thing and I feel strongly that back at home I deserve none than her and nothing matches up to a life with her but that doesn’t mean that I go crazy about marriage and forget what I am at and rub down the things which bear importance and effect. And what about my after-marriage life and the questions that awaits me on the other shore. I feel either I am dead right or I am dead wrong.

I did one big mistake. At work, I found myself in an issue which needs R&D on some new libraries and it might be that I was bored, I jumped in and after the client call I found myself staring at a herculean task which needs to be done in the next two days. I had decided not to undertake any major responsibilities at work as my brain needs some rest and peace after having study for fun till three in the night. And I lost it. I don’t know why I did that. I should have stopped myself or showed little zeal in there. I know that even if I get that done, I won’t be getting anything good. It only puts extra pressure on my GMAT preparation. But the damage is done. Hope, I stick to what I decide.

It’s three in the morning. Here, the day ends for me. Another one awaits me with loads of work. It’s sad that these ten minutes which I spent writing this post was all I got for myself today when I felt I am free, happy and alive.