Why am I such a procrastinator? I am thankful to my lady love for letting me know that long back. But am sorry that I hardly do anything about that. I tried a lot. And I failed always. Since when was I not a failure!!!
I am so tiered being a developer. I am unable to take the pain anymore. Why do I always have to think of a solution and way around for doing things? Why me? Who said that I can fix things? Why do I always need to perform? Why can’t I let go off pro-activity and productivity and lead a normal serene human life?
Why do I hold on so strongly to my conviction? Why can’t I just be a normal being and accept things and persons as the way they come into my life and try to change mine? Why do I always need to be different? Why do I think about all that and express the person I am in the best possible straight-forward way possible?
Why is it that I have to wait for the week to end? Why can’t I just end it the day I like? Why do I have to work on weekdays and why is it that they count to five? Why not one or two?
Why is it that I love you so much? Why is it that I can’t stop myself calling you and missing you and thinking about you? Why is it that a bit here and there with you puts me off to being nothing? Why is it that at times I bother you unknowingly? Why is that way with you? Who created love?
Why do I enjoy pain? Why do I like hurting myself? Why do I do that without any care for anyone? Why is it that pain kills’s pain for me? Why has he programmed me that way? Why do I need to oscillate between extremes? Why not lead a moronic life, watching and feeling just a bit about the things and carrying on with my life?
I am tiered. It’s about to strike one in the morning and a Tuesday awaits me at work. I have seven hours and am supposed to pull in a good sleep along with the travel to office and the daily human formalities in the morning. Those are the one’s going on in my mind right now and I know many more are still lurking inside, quite happy not to have come out. But it’s blogsphere. The space I love for the space I can have. I shall win and soon, you all, unpublished why’s of my life, shall be here.
When you discover the answers to all these questions, let the rest of us know, OK? :)
ReplyDeleteawee :( im sorry u are having so many why questions right now.... thats the worst.. u r not alone. and i agree with MJ as soon as u figure it out let me know cuz i need some of those answers myself!
ReplyDeletefirst of all sorry that I reminded you of something that you didnt want to be reminded of. secondly I dont think that its so bad to being in extremes, only when you get hurt than its bad. But what's wrong with being extremely happy? but other than that, If you ever do figure out all the answers to your questions, do let me know as well yeah? =)
ReplyDeleteheya :)
ReplyDeletei am passing u an award! check it out!!
Hey buddy, I updated earlier just for you, check it out yeah?;)
ReplyDeleteGarf-
ReplyDeleteHere I am. Making my presence known. Life's why's tend to keep me up at night. So know that you have a comrade in me. There are times when I yearn to be more "normal" in order to quiet the constant earthquake within that always demands more.
I Love your blog. I've been hooked for a few days now. :-)
Thanks a lot MissUnderstood....i feel great.
ReplyDeleteHope to read your comments hence on..:)
And thanks again to farah for uploading the pics and to The Novelist Barista for the award.