Where am i headed?

Finally Monday is over. I am sure now I would sail happily through the week. Things seem fine once I get a start. I always find starting things difficult. Well, god made me that way and certainly it’s not me to blame. 

Work was good with me getting an award and recognition for my work. And with a happy-happy marked all on me, as I was walked out of the office to catch a cab, I narrowly missed a hoarding, blown down by the wind. No idea why but I found that interesting. I read somewhere in a novel by Peter James that there is nothing like a meaningless coincidence. Since then I have been looking out for them.

I am a single child. I am hugely dependent on friends. They matter to me a lot and a huge space of my life is always dedicated to them. Quite recently two of my friends moved out to another city related to work. And now, it seems another has to go in near days. If he moves out, I am left with only one, whom I can really count on as a friend. Wonder what I would do. Life at 27 has made me face this crisis. A crisis of friends. A crisis of being in someone’s company. With the love of my life busy at studies of management in another city, I don’t have any soul except two, with whom I spend all of my time on weekends and hang out. But now it seems, god certainly has different plans. I am ready to face. That’s all I can do and that’s what I do best. I am of no good use except that.

She (No credits for guessing who) says it was always me and it’s only me who is responsible for my present all-alone world. She is right in saying that I am always arrogant and I hardly bend my ways. But she fails to understand that I can’t befriend anyone. Friendship, I guess, is a tricky piece of code. Sometimes it just happens. And sometimes, howsoever hard you might try, nothing works out. If I don’t like anyone at work, that’s the way I am. I can’t make myself like someone and go ahead, and share life and feelings and views and be friends. I can’t do that. If I want something, I want it the way I want; else, I don’t want it at all. I have made enough compromises till date. I am not supposed to make them always. God might choose the opponent and the ground and the game but I shall always play by my own rules. He can never change the way I play because after all, oh god, it was you who made me this way.

That was it. 1st of June, a day, a week’s start, for me. Let’s see where I am headed…….