A NEW me.

There are things in life which I want. I want to have a better life and enjoy the so called materialistic world. When I was yet to start working, I always felt that there was nothing I can’t have. That belief is still there. There are friends/people around me who often wonder if they would ever own a BMW and Europe trips at leisure. My response to them has always been a “Why Not”.

During the last few months I can see that faith in myself dwindling like never before. I am working in one of the biggest Investment Banks, I know what I do and I am better in what I do than people around me. I also earn decent bucks. Ok, to answer where the problem lies, my responsibilities are huge. And as I head towards a 30 and a marriage in coming 1-2 years, I question myself about what my friends used to wonder a few years back. It’s pain that I feel inside. I am not afraid of losing. I am afraid of not having tried.

It has been a year. Never did I have a day when I could come back home from work and enjoy myself. It has remained a relentless journey to excel and better my situation. In these four years of work, I have read more than anyone can during their four years of engineering. And all of that hasn’t gone futile. I have been lucky with interviews, jobs and employers but not with money. That defines what my problem is.

An Indian Information Technology Male who used to be onsite-hater and mock people dying to travel abroad is today seeing that as the only way ahead. I ended up at the same corners. That’s life. It always asks you to portray how badly you want things in life. Rest, in some cases only, gets taken care of.