Monday, January 31, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 9

It’s a bad Monday. First I wasn’t able to talk to my love and had to rush for office. Then, I didn’t take my cap as it was -3 yesterday and I felt fine. It turned out to be -13 today and I somehow managed to reach office. I wasn’t able to feel my ears and nose. My hair was wet too as I had just taken the bath and headed out. It was careless of me. I had to endure the same on my way back. It was -11 and by the time I reached MacDonald for my take away, my ears and nose were gone. So, I just hope that I wake up fine.

My friend argues that I should visit the nude club in the locality. He says that’s what a man does. Well, I don’t really agree. I am in love in the first place and secondly, I don’t like nude shows. I wonder how people get the fun of such shows. I have this incapability to feel anything at such shows and I know that for sure. Then I guess there simply isn’t any point going there. And as to the second point my friend points out regarding alcohol, well, there is no fun drinking alone. I have done it many a times in India and I know how it feels to drink alone. That’s the last thing I would do when dollars are at stake.

It’s not even 10 days and it feels months. Nez, I have Barcelona match on Saturday, 4:00PM EST which implies that one of my weekends is taken care of. Liverpool signs Suarez and Carroll, a nice breed and mix for Torres who heads for Chelsea. I guess, this would add onto Liverpool’s favor. Torres looked old and tired with Liverpool. Now EPL should become more fun. I hope ManU, ManC and Arsenal feel some heat. On another note, Real Madrid looses 0-1. I pity Mourinho. I pity him for he has always been a proud and egoist coach, quite jealous of Barcelona and have a high inability to cope with success and talent. Such teams can never soar high, for long. We beat them 5-0 and more is coming.

That’s all guys. It’s time for me to immerse myself in the latest algorithm book I happened to come across, have my burger, call a few ones back at home and sleep for another day ahead.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 8

Today was another day which I spent inside all by myself. I woke up and had calls with friends love and parents. That was when I was ready for my lunch and today it was Macaroni Pizza and a diet coke. It was filling. I kept aside my daily MacDonald engagements for the dinner, which I would start for in another 30 minutes.

One big thing which came of today during my long online chats with friends is that I would be travelling to my birth town in the last week of March. I got the tickets booked today and we are almost set for the travel. It’s my friend’s elder brother who is getting married there. I had been longing to go there since years but since the day I started working, I never really could plan something. This seems to be a perfect opportunity to head down the memory lanes. That place has made me the way I am, good or bad and it always would be a pleasure visiting it. This time, I would try my best to capture as much I can in my camera. There is so much out there that I really get lost when I try to think as to what all I should focus myself on once I am there. Its nostalgia and it feels heaven…

I had been watching the movies these days. I don’t have much left to do. It’s strange. In India, I was running out of the touch with movies and here, I am like back in, full throttle all over it. To give you something on that, I have plans to dedicate a blog post solely for the Oscar nominations and how I felt about them. They deserve that time and effort. Even if no one is really going to care about what I write or think, it’s salute. Movies are wonderful stuff.

Tomorrow marks the start of my second week of stay at Toronto. You would be logically correct not to expect stuffs from my side. But, I am unpredictable and this time, I would like not to be. Just today as I was discussing my mental fight over visiting places vs saving bucks vs being alone, it came to me that of all the people we knew to be here, in the States and Canada, almost all of them have headed back to India. Some have done that as they are on vacation and some have moved back permanently. Strange but true, GOD really wants me to hit these places alone as of now. Well, as Barney says, Challenge Accepted.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 7

I spent the whole day inside. MacDonald was my lunch and Thai Express was the dinner. I need rice and shrimps are always a favorite. I also searched for the Toronto tourist places and came across quite good ones. The CN tower with 180 storey as being the latest onto the modern world wonders is surely a must watch. I wasn’t able to find anything easier though. As said earlier, I would like to stay at my room as long as I can. It has been just one of whole three weeks down. Miles to go…

My favorite Television show Roadies 8 is on air. I miss watching it on my TV. I have an LCD here but it’s just waste. It has only the Canadian channels and paid movies. Cable services in India really are amazing and better. They almost suit anyone from anywhere. Anyways, YouTube is doing the shows for me. In La-Liga today, Barcelona smashed Hercules 3-0 today and the 400th goal under pep Guardiola comes from Lionel Messi. And without an effort, Messi even scored his second. Not to mention the starter from Pedro. That was really an amazing score and surely places Pedro among the top brackets.

I am still having tough time with the currency here. I keep on going to these shops for my dinner or lunch and I always spell the same thing out: “I am new here, can you help me with the coins”…They always do. That’s what I like here. People, though they happen to mind their own, do feel like humans. The lady who comes for housekeeping, the guy who came in twice for fixing up the internet and bulbs and the plumber for the shower issue, they all felt human and they all looked happy and they all sounded content. I don’t know what it is but it surely is good and something which India lacks for sure.

I just recollected that I haven’t been smoking since 10 days. That is the longest I have gone without it. And on the flip side as you start expecting that I finally gave up something bad, I am now-a-days addicted to black coffee. That’s what I have in room and I love it without the milk and that’s what is growing upon me. I hope this doesn’t become the next addiction issue of my life. Well, that was all from the Toronto Saturday.

Friday, January 28, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 6

Today’s highlight: Sushi at team lunch. It really was good. I never had it before. And I am a big fan of sea food. So, I never had any issues with it. I really liked the hot drink which was served along with the soup and Sushi and the numerous types it includes, it looks and tastes amazing.

I am tired of answering the same questions again and again. All they ask for is what is my plan for the rest of the day or for the weekends or what is it that I am having for the dinner. What am I supposed to say them? Isn’t everybody aware that I am all alone and the temperature is -10? I don’t understand.

My first week at Toronto comes to an end. It was good. I somehow managed my time. What lies ahead of me is two full days at hotel room. I guess I will get exhausted and try out the Google map for local areas to visit which would be cheaper for me to access. I anyways have to go out for the lunch. I leave that onto time to happen. I wish I had a work Visa and come here for a longer interval. This is a nice place to be.

It’s time for my black coffee. I guess I would stick to myself and work on the new website I am planning. You either have everything or you don’t have anything. It feels silly and foolish to hang around in the middle. Life has its own way….

Thursday, January 27, 2011

9th Aug: My sad & happy Day...

The below post (a real life incident from my life) is my entry for Close Up “Fire-Freeze” Contest.
If you have lived any such moment where you felt contrasting emotions piercing you, you may participate. Remember to post your story-in brief-as a comment below this post. Thanks.

I belong to a big, famous and common league: I am a software developer from India. When you become that, you feel good and especially more when you are a class bunker during your engineering days and addicted to novels, movies and PC games. Gradually, as I settled in my job, a want of better package made me a frequent job hopper. I was sitting at my 3th organization in 4 years. Things were worse for I had already been selected for an Investment bank (a dream) and was waiting for the offer letter. That would make it 4 in 4 years. I hope you don’t ask me WHY when I will tell you that I did that within a week of my joining the new org. It was a dream to work for an Investment bank, for me and opportunities don’t come twice, do they? So as I pondered more over my future, relaxing during my office hours, I thought getting an MBA done from some elite school would now make more sense for I am just about to move into something cool. How long can an offer letter take to reach me? Notice periods after you resign at your workplace are always rosy. All set, GMAT was the word.

Internet got me all that I needed. Forums and blogs gave me a good head start. Within 2 days, I had all the stuff I would need and it stood at 4+ GB mark. I always start good. While a daily 2 hour preparation is usually suggested, I started at 5. Two weeks down, I was getting tired. The zeal was decreasing. One month down, I was almost done with my course. I was looking forward to another two weeks to be done with my revision and searching for a good online test series seemed perfect for the time. Being a born procrastinator, it also seemed logical to seal the deal and I booked my GMAT dates. But somewhere in the city, an accident happens, my colleague gets injured and out of work for no idea how long according to the doctors and the next day at work, my project gets shuffled and I along with another new joiner (Mr. X), is expected to work with someone (Mr. Y ) sitting at the onshore. My housewife days (I used to come home by 5PM in the evenings) were over. The famous onsite-offshore model started for me. It was now 10 or 11 in the night when I used to reach home. It took two days for me to settle in the sudden changes at work and after thinking it through; things still looked easy for the GMAT to happen as planned. Test series would be for the weekends with 1 hour revisions during the week. I was targeting for a 730+.

Four tests down, I was at a 640, a well 90 points below of my target score. Numerous head and fist bangs over the desk, countless cigarettes and discussions with closed ones, subject experts and brainstorming couldn’t help me out. Logic suggested a change of date. And, my soon-to-arrive offer letter was already 2 Months delayed. I kept on submitting my proofs and the HR always came back asking for something different. Sometimes it was the tenant agreement or sometimes it was the format of my scanned copy. Background verification became a passport application. And my 10-11PM log off time from work got extended to 2-3 AM in the mornings as I got stuck up with Mr. X & Y, mostly to explain them no more than the basics for fresh graduates out of college. Everything was testing everything in me.

A score of 630 in the 5th test on a weekday morning finally got the better off me. The test had to be rescheduled. It needs to be done tonight. 90 points increase in performance isn’t a joke. I reached home at 2 AM in the morning. With eyes red, I see the offer letter sitting in my inbox. Happy, I rush to make the other end fine. I log into the GMAC website and hit the reschedule button. It charges me $250, the equivalent of a new exam as opposed to the $50 it is supposed to, for rescheduling an exam appointment. I cancel out and retry the steps. Well, it stays the same way. Nuts, I check out the FAQ’s. My original exam day is on 9th Aug and today is 3rd Aug. You have to reschedule your exam at least 7 days before or else, you get charged the same as of a new exam. I never thought of ending my life more seriously. I am appearing the exam as scheduled initially. You think I am done? Nope. The real fun was yet to come.

I had resigned at work but no one seemed to care about it. Everything stayed the same. There was no change in my working hours. I was still educating an 8 year old IT brain at onshore and a 6 year old IT brain at offshore about how data structures work and why I coded what. I actually had to work 12+ hours even during my notice period. Who does that? Why me? I didn’t want to take the exam but $250 is no joke. So, with duality all inside me, my preparation came to a standstill and now I was looking for luck on the day.

It was supposed to be 9th Aug. And it should be a Tuesday for I remember that while booking it, I thought that I would get the weekend and then on Monday, at office I would fake a bad health and leave early and the next morning, on Tuesday, I would ace the exam. So, on Sunday evening, I went out with my friend to check out the Pearson center in my city. On Monday, I went to office and at 4 PM, I successfully faked my bad health to my manager and headed home. It felt heaven to come back so early. But I was sad. The final day lied hours ahead of me. The day which was supposed to be my day depended now totally on luck. People do end up getting a 50 point increase. Everything depends on the last few questions and how you start. That’s what I was reading in the forums to keep my fire burning. Anyways, I would have the real time experience of having gone through the GMAT when I would appear it again in a few months, to correct my score. The final score matters. A good sleep is most suggested. I picked up my handset to call up my girl friend and saw it was 9th Aug. Weird. It was 10’o clock in the night. I checked my system calendar. It was 9th Aug. I can’t explain what followed next…..

9th Aug, 2010 was a Monday. I was happy that I escaped the exam unknowingly. I was sad that I finally did indeed make my $250 go into the drain. I was happy that I never got to see that score I hated. I was sad for I knew many around me thought I did all this intentionally. I was happy that I didn’t have to face what it feels like wanting to give 100% and not being able to, when it matters. I was sad that I, being the candidate, didn’t care to check the date and the day.
Life is weird. There are very few things which happen and with time, become increasingly hard to comprehend as to why they happened. Otherwise, time usually has the answer to almost everything else….I still don’t know whether I should be happy or sad about what had happened.

My Trip to Toronto - 5

Five days down. That implies I am well into the middle of my stay. A couple of issues which still linger include washings, morning bread and cup noodles. They might be near but they are in dollars. That is one thing I am trying to skip. Now a day I am quite happy with my Thai food in the lunch and MacDonald burgers in the dinner. The room coffee maker keeps me good too during the evenings and office work is smooth. Even the climate is warm outside, comparatively. So, in short, everything is just fine and calm.

Tomorrow I would be going out for team lunch. And Saturday does have me visiting a colleague’s house for spending some Indian time together. Though I am not at all eager to go, I really can’t help it. I don’t understand what to talk about and what not to. I take it as another task.

I am getting these weird ideas of creating a website and its gradually growing over me. It would be ideal to focus on it seriously. It can become a potential time killer and would always help me further my skills. I just fear the procrastinator in me. Things never had a problem starting up with me but they never grew up and that list is endless. I don’t want it to grow any further. Being a Gemini, sticking to a cause is tough. I am a perfect example of the same. That’s all for today.

Note: Don’t curse me if at all you are here. I know I am being poor here in uploading pictures of this amazing city but, I hope that you understand that being alone is tough. I don’t want to make it tougher for me. :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 4

It seems that I have made a mistake by having started the Toronto trip series. After the initial two days, life has kind of settled down here and I can see a routine emerge out of it. My reluctance to spend and lack of friends are the facts from my life to blame.

You have to agree that you cannot enjoy a place and feel good if you go on visiting places alone. That’s exactly my case. Even though I don’t know when I am going to come back to Canada, will that ever happen in my lifetime or not, I just can’t carry on with my two eyes and legs. And when you have financial issues in your life, going alone and spending that buck out would be the last thing you would ever do.

I went to office and came back. I had Thai food during the lunch and MacDonald awaits me for dinner. Rest of my time in Toronto is spent over the internet with my laptop. Whenever I happen to look outside and see that skyline from my room, that’s when I realize that I am no more in India. It feels good, in a way that I am here. But it does feel sad too, spending time at home when you are at a place new and you do no not know if life is ever gonna get you that second chance. I leave all of it to god. I am happy believing that he being the know-it-all entity understands me and has a reason for me to be here, this way. I am here just to fit into his plan.

Here it’s getting warm though. It was -3 degrees centigrade today. Toronto does
indeed impress me. People look nice as they walk fast trying to escape the cold and snow and covered up in the woolens. Streets look white with snow. Air feels to be purified in cold steam. There is something about the cold chill in the air that hits your face and you feel something inside you. The thing with cold air and winters can never escape you if you really do pay attention to it. And be the one behind the wheels or the street walker, both has respect and time for the other. It’s decent and clean. Take my word, it’s quite a place to be.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 3

As expected, today was just another day.

I don’t believe I am writing this, but today it was a lot warmer day at -8 degrees centigrade. You really have no idea how it feels like to walk in -30, especially more so when it’s your first day and you don’t even know where you are supposed to go. I reached office on time. The lady in team invited me over to her house in the weekends and I found her very nice. She looks strong, weird and twisted but, o me she has been good. She deserves the same back I guess. And I also have a team lunch in my honor of visiting Toronto. All of it feels nice, yet embarrassing. I am really poor in handling these matters…

I came home to find my internet connection not working as expected. It took 2 calls to get it fixed. That’s a relief. My whole lot in India is sleeping as I write this and the more I think about it, the more I realize my present and where I am and why I am here and what great I am doing being here and….its endless…..it is better I stop myself going there.

Food is gradually crawling up my list of issues. It has been 4 days and I am all on MacDonald and my cup noodles and my biscuits. I wonder how long I am going to be good that ways. When you are alone and when you know that you need to save some dollars, having food outside is the last thing you would ever wish to do. So I wait for the real call to come from inside before I give in to my cravings……

Monday, January 24, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 2

Today my life started at Toronto. Till now, it was just the wait for work is why I am here. The morning started for me quite early which has never been the case with me since years or may be never before. It started at 5 Am which usually is 9 AM for me in India.

It’s strange how life differs over the time zones. While I am trying to brush my teeth and get ready, my fellow mates at India are wrapping up their Monday. It’s simple for the world rotates yet amazing for that makes lives so different. Nez…the first news of the morning was a good one and a bad one. My love starts working from 1st March instead of 1st may. That’s bad for her stay with me for 3 months before she joins work has to be cancelled. That implies a more-lonely me back when I am at India. And it’s good because she would get paid which implies my salary increases and I start getting more bucks for us to live. I now feel that it’s more bad and little good. Nothing can be a substitute than to live together when you are in a distance relationship.

It started falling snow the moment it hit the clock at 6. And it never stopped. It came to become the coldest day of the year at Toronto. It was my first day and I didn’t have the slightest idea as to where my workplace was. I started out in the snow as I felt my nose going numb……and after managing to call up my colleague at the work place and having walked more than a kilometer as I tried not to fall on the snow covered lanes and not to freeze with the cold air I was breathing in, I finally reached where I was expected. Everything can never go right for me. So, the remote desktop didn’t work out. I wasn’t able to check my mails. I did some coding as was needed for the day and started back home at 5PM. That’s really a good thing about working anywhere except India. You come on time, you don’t any shit at work like play TT or gossip around or go for long breaks and you finish your work on time to head home early. That really makes you aware of how important the work life balance is.

Oopss..…I forgot my lunch hour. My team brought boxes and so there was no one who could accompany me. It was again an adventure waiting for me. So I started out and as I asked the other fellow member in the lift, he helped me out as we talked about our work. That’s another good thing about not being in India. I don’t say that Indians aren’t friendly but that the people here are more reachable. I would have thought twice if I were to ask someone at India and would have never dared had it been a girl. Here humanity matters more. You can feel it. And it feels good. Well, amidst a hundred shops and thousand unknown faces, I decided for a roasted chicken sandwich and a diet coke. My lunch ended in 15 minutes as I watched people around and that was it.

Evening walk back to my hotel room had similar colors as the morning but it wasn’t that cold either or might be that I am getting accustomed to it. MacDonald’s has an outlet nearby and I did deserve a value meal after countless cup noodles, cakes and biscuits. I got that packed and as I write this, I am already done with my hot French fries. The burger and the coke have to wait for the dinner. I got my Skype credit charged up today. Hopefully, now I would be able to make some calls to India for cheap. And before I end my post, the last feather in my cap of Toronto would be that I finally was able to brew coffee using the coffee maker. Google is all you need when there is no help available. My first brewed coffee doesn’t taste bad, if I am to be realistic. That implies my tomorrow morning should start on a good note.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Trip to Toronto - 1

My first trip abroad has started. I travelled to Toronto for 3 weeks from where I am supposed to go to New Jersey for a week. And that is all about it. Today, I am trying to put down everything possible about my arrival to Toronto via London.

The cab to pick me up was supposed to come at 2:00 Am in the morning. As remains the case, they never turn up on time. After a customer care call and my efforts to guide the driver as to where my home was, I finally was downstairs watching him load my baggage into the cab. I bade goodbye to my roommate and in the chill, the journey begun. International section was new to me and as I was travelling for the first time, I really wasn’t aware of the process which lied ahead. I reached the airport a good 40 minutes ahead of time. After the wait, with red eyes and a light head I met the person over at the counter who checked my two luggages into the cargo and the handed over the boarding passes to me. Without any further delay, I headed for the security check and got seated in front of the gate 32 where my flight was supposed to arrive. It was British Airways and my first international flight. I plugged in the cell phone pods and tried being as much relaxed as possible. But, I failed. The tension and apprehension of what lied ahead hardly allowed me to relax which I guess was good as I didn’t fell asleep.
I had a connecting flight from London. There were many things ahead which I didn’t have the slightest idea about. Things like how much does it take to reach London, what it feels like to be seated for 8 plus hours on a Boeing and whether I would be fine having food during the flight considering that I was a nausea patient and …….well, the answer to everything is just to face it. I landed up besides a little boy and her mother. I ate all that was served. I tried sleeping as much as I could. London was waiting for me after flying for 8 hours.
Another wait started as I sat myself in the waiting arena. It was a 4 hour wait. But it was post the security check up. Compared to India, the security check up at London was pretty impressive. They didn’t take anything for granted except for my sports shoes which was no interest to them. My laptop, purse, belt, socks, bag…everything got scanned. I was carrying INR & CAD, so I tried keeping myself away from the shop nearby. Watching people usually is boring. But not when you are in a foreign land. 4 hours didn’t feel like being 4.
The flight for Canada had me sitting by the window, alone. I tried capturing as much London as I could. I can say that I loved it. The roads, the people, the climate, the surroundings, the view…they all looked great. This is what they say as being the largest city in the world. It kept me yearning for more which is a feeling I really like. These are the ones which makes you live life. Nez…my flight to Toronto was again all about dim lights, foods and occasional trysts with sleep. Another 7 hours and I saw snow for the first time. It was -18 degrees Centigrade outside. The airport too seemed to be lonely for 730 PM in the evening. The customs was a formality. I had confusions about private laptop declaration which the lady sitting at the counter helped me with. I came out, collected my baggage and called up Bloomingdale Limo service. They have a reputation of being reasonable and good. An Indian picked up, booked a cab and made me aware of the process. As I came out of gate no 29 to meet the person sitting at the prebooked counter, I tasted -18 for the first time in my life. It was cold, refreshing, clean and new. I breathed for a few minutes before I came inside and waited for my cab to arrive. Another Indian greeted me as he drove me towards my hotel. He came here 32 years back and has a child aged me and is now settled in Canada. He was all praise for the city. We shared a few words about India before he gave me his contact and waved off. The hotel, Marriott wasn’t bad either. Thankfully, my 220V adaptor worked out good for the 110 ones here. Connecting to the internet had wire and wireless as the options. My cup noodles gave me a good time during the dinner and there I was, sitting on the 17th floor watching a snow covered clean Toronto lying before me.

Its -25 today. I went out for 5 minutes and felt lucky to have come back to the hotel, alive. It was becoming difficult for me to breathe out there. I wonder as to how I am going to make it to the office tomorrow. That’s the next big thing ahead, tomorrow. Hope, things will work out for the good. Presently, it feels nice to be here. I don’t know how it would stay like that.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My New Year celebrations just got over....

The New Year celebrations just got over for me. That explains where I had been these many days post my Christmas post. It was the same routine life except one additional premise which imparted a whole new meaning to these normal, routine, lame days from my life. It was my love who was staying here with me.

She was the mornings I always wanted. She was the smile I always longed for in the goodbyes and welcomes. She was the taste my buds always searched for during the dinners and the in the food out. She was the voice I always wanted to hear when I get home. She was the company I always needed when I headed out for the movies or a good time out. She was the support I always prayed for in times dark. She was the life I always asked for, in my life.

No one else had mattered. It was a proud display of arrogance on my part for I had what I always needed. Friends, family and no-idea-who-all got neglected. The same sheets, the same room, the same air, they all are here but what they used to have is what is missing today. There is no substitute or shortcut to living life in & with love..

Today, as I sit here writing this post, she is traveling back to her city to complete her course and I am looking forward to a business travel to Canada/US in the next 3 days for a month, alone. The next one month will test all that I have. The temperatures are low, I would be on my own and the expectations from me to deliver are high and I am traveling abroad for the first time. So, it’s missing your life plus the insecurities and challenges that lie ahead for me. Be it a win or a loss, it’s just another match which needs to be played. Matter of time before I am into it…..do wish me and us, luck…