To fail was important. To hit a wall might have felt bad and hurt but eventually that was what bore the fruit. If I recall today, my recent past, I can see a fact which I feel, I have learned for myself. I was in deep mess which made me (an all time class bunker who never got to score more than 20% on the attendance register while at engineering) go to office on the weekends and read for hours all alone. I can’t deny that I didn’t get the credit for that. Life got me a better job, probably the best project and team at that organization, and recognition of being skilled at the technology on hand. And then there was another kill. I was moved to different project on a different technology and few weeks down I found myself again in a deep mess unable to work with people boasting of five years of work experience and still learning HTML and CSS formats, people who believe that promotion and achievement is a war and all about politics and seniority, people who thought that they have all the power in the world just because they have been sitting there long. I tried with what I cannot say as my best and got two offers. I resigned......
But today, hardly a month more to go before I join my new arena, I felt as though I have hit on a wall again. I need better and i shouldn't stop. My need says to me that I deserve better. My deservedness insists that I should try more. I am told that I am asking for more. I am informed that I am suffering from more-syndrome and walking to glory never feeling happy with what I have. I am warned that I may end up having nothing at all. But what if i give up? What if i listen to all of them? I don't see things with time......i don't see how things will be taken care of....things that have been thrust upon me by something not of my choice......things that i have owned up genetically......things that expect a better time and claim to have a dream about them.....things that are waiting on me to come and get it done.......
Hmmm.....it ain't over.....it still remains a failure....
i think u r in the smuggest of positions to try for more now.. you yourself feel that for the two offers that u have got, u havnt put your best, so in this one month put your best and try your utmost..if u get better offer than the one you have (u can even use the current offer in hand during negotiation stage), you can join there once you leave ur present job, if not then u can the join the better offers of the two u have in hand.. learn a few stuff, make better contacts, experience more and then move on again to greater heights..
ReplyDeletethe inner u knows what u r capable of and thus the pushing and pressure to get more n more.the warning is simply a way of your subconscious to tell you to take care..
so take care, reach for more heights , njoy and climb the wall!
@Meenakshi: That was something. I appreciate the thoughtful analysis....thanks....
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